"I'm losing you and its efortless"

For the longest time I have tried my hardest to hang on to the part of me who was absolutly in love with life. The me that had been the life of the part. Shes left though, I lost her and it was completely effortless and it hurts like hell. I mean physically hurts. The last part left me today though, the part of me that could do WHATEVER, WHENEVER and did not give a damn about anything. I guess maybe that person is still apart of me but it's like... I called a friend a man whore. I really did that. And I was angry at him for being that way but even more angry at the fact that I said it. How dare I say that! Especially after last year where... well just ask Kim. I mean I've become that person who judges others and doesn't think a think about it. Maybe I just miss it. I mean my life down there was amazing. Every weekend was litterally a party and now that I'm here it just hurts. Oh how I want so badly to just graduate and be done with high school. To be done with all of it. sigh